Amazed...Anticipating...Anxiously Awaiting

For two years, we have been working and waiting for our children in Ethiopia - children we do not know, have never seen but to whom we know the Lord will lead us.  The first of three big days in international adoption are "referral day", the day the anxiously waiting family finally receives a phone call and email with the details and pictures of the child they have been matched with.  The second big day is the "pass court day" when the parents travel to (in our case) Ethiopia,and appear before the courts to formally and officially adopt their child.  Most families pass court on the first go-round, but sometimes more information is needed on the child to be adopted before the adoption can be granted.  The third and last day, often the most exciting and emotional, is the "Gotcha day!!"  On this day, the family has passed medical, received their child's Visa, and may now bring their child home from Ethiopia.   

On Friday I spoke with our case worker at the adoption agency about different financial concerns I had as well as questioned her about referrals given during Ethiopia's rainy season (Aug. 8-late Sept) when the adoption courts are closed.  She informed me that referrals are still received, approved, and given to families during that time but a Court Date cannot be made until after the courts reopen near the end of September.  So, once again concerned about the money, I replied, Okay, well that gives us a month or two before we will receive a referral to raise the money we need to accept it.  To my shock and delight she replied tentatively.. or a few days. (!?!?)  What?!?!  So after a little prodding on my part, she told me that the agency was about to receive more referrals to give out but she couldn't say anything officially to me until the children's files had been approved and released for referral.  But...she said...I will be calling you on Monday!  She did tell me that she didn't want to say too much and get my hopes up, but that it looked very much like a referral was coming our way.  

So, in true Lauren fashion,  I absolutely got my hopes up.  Come on, seriously, what did she expect! We have taken some drastic measures to be able to find the almost $14,000 we need to accept the referral, but by the grace of our most loving Father in Heaven, we were able to manage to gather all but about $500 of the total sum needed.  We also had some wonderful friends and family who were able to help us by contributing to our adoption fund.  I am so humbled and amazed by the goodness of God and the wisdom in his timing.  He has blessed us beyond measure to be able to build our eternal family through adoption.  We are so deeply grateful for our wonderful friends and family who have loved and supported us throughout the wait.  We still have a long journey ahead of us, but we have faith that the Lord will continue to help us bring our children home.  

Long story short?  Stay tuned...we might have some great news to share tomorrow!!  ...But don't get your hopes up!  :o)   

Meanwhile in Afghanistan

Let's face it...sometimes men and women just aren't good at the same jobs.  I know, I know, all the feminists out there are crying foul right now.  Just think about it for a moment.  The picture above makes the job of an Infantry soldier look great!  Peaceful even.  The picture below is a little closer to reality.  Here is a pretty picture - it's almost 110 degrees outside, you're covered from head to toe, carrying an extra 55 pounds and your only mode of transportation are your feet.  Not too bad?  Well, add the tat-tat, ta tat-tat of small arms fire and the BOOM of an IED explosion and now your day is a typical one in Afghanistan.  

This picture of my sweet, handsome, strong husband was taken just one hour after he and his platoon experienced yet another IED explosion.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I think I will handle the stresses of managing our home and securing funds for the adoption without complaint from now on.  In fact, I feel quite spoiled in my air conditioned home, with a soft bed and quiet neighborhood.  Even as a veteran of OIF, I cannot begin to comprehend what some of these soldiers in Afghanistan experience on a regular basis.  Feeling very grateful for the soldiers who honorably serve to defend and protect.

We're Number 1!! We're Number 1!!

Wahooo!!  After more than 19 months of waiting, we are FINALLY #1 in line!!  Well, at least we are first in line for a sibling group or twins, and first for a boy in our age range.  We are, however, fourth in line for a girl.  Isn't that amazing?  We could potentially receive a referral for a child or a sibling group in the next month or two!!  We are so thrilled, but we also have a lot of work to do.

If we receive a referral for twins or siblings, we will be required to wire the agency $13,860 in order to accept the referral and start the process to appear before the Ethiopian courts to formally adopt our children.  Here's the thing...our total adoption expenses will be over $35,000 and we can't do it alone.  I know our Father in Heaven will help us bring our children home, but we need your help too.  

See the link at the right to 100 Good Wishes...it links to our page where family, friends, and other well-wishers can send our children a good wish and make a small donation via Paypal to help us bring them home.  We are also applying for adoption grants and squeezing our budget to continue to put in as much of our own money as possible.  Thank You in advance for your loving support of our family and our children. 

If you are interested in the breakdown of adoption costs, there is a new tab at the top of our blog entitled Adoption Expenses, which will show you the first page of the financial agreement we signed with our adoption agency. 

One GIANT leap of faith

Matthew and I have always been filled with the desire to build our family through the gift of adoption.  In February 2010 we began investigating the process of adopting domestically and internationally...costs, time frames, process, etc.  We decided we would pursue international adoption in the beautiful country of Ethiopia!

We have now officially been in the process with our agency, Children's House International, for two years.  For the last 19 months we have been awaiting a referral.  A referral is a packet of information on a child that meets your adoption specifications for the child you would like to adopt.  A few days ago we increased our age range...yesterday we made a HUGE change. (In my opinion anyway).  After conferencing as a couple - via Skype messaging mind you - and after prayer and fasting we decided to change our child preferences to be as follows:

A girl OR boy between the ages of newborn and 2 1/2 years old, can be HIV+ and can also have minor correctable defects.  We are also approved and happy to accept a sibling boy or girl up to the age of 4.

What is so big about that you may very well wonder.  Well, we have been expecting to adopt a baby girl from Ethiopia for the past two years ...and perhaps we still will, but we felt like we needed to open ourselves up a little bit to allow the Lord to help us find the child intended for our family.  I must say, I am still very excited about this change even though it was a difficult one to make.  A referral could be right around the corner!!  Which of course means <gulp> we need to have at least $9500 ready in order to accept the referral, or more than that if we receive a referral for siblings.  I know God can work miracles, and we are about to need a big one.  

Just Keep On Moving

The process of adoption is filled with many unexpected road blocks for every family choosing to embark on the journey.  We, however, seem to enjoy taking the adoption "road" under perpetual construction with seemingly endless road closures and detour signs hindering the path.  

Did you know that each time you move, a home study update is required?  Yes indeed, it is true, and each home study update costs another big chunk 'o change out of the already withered wallet.  We FINALLY got our second home study update completed and approved today!!  (We have moved twice since our original home study was completed.)  So wonderful!  Except that just today we decided to shift the age range of our child up to 30 months instead of 18 months.  Alas, the home study update is now under way again.  

The good news is...we DID change our approved age range for a child to "newborn to 30 months (2 1/2 years)"!  Yay!!  We are waiting on a referral for a little girl in that range and many, many families just like us want a little girl too.  As a result, the wait can be veeeeerrry looooonng.  (We have been waiting 19 months.)  But as I said, we are excited about the change that we decided to make after careful consideration and prayer.  We know our Father in Heaven has His plan and timeline mapped out for us and our daughter.  Each day we are continually reminding ourselves that all will be well as we continue in faith.

Photo Updates

 We got a dog!  Moto Moto is a Great Dane.

Daddy getting ready to deploy to Afghanistan.

Our First Home!!

Learning Focus and Patience

Can you believe my last post was almost 11 months ago?  What has happened in that time to keep me away...too much, I tell you, too much!!

Just five days after my last post on August 10th, I closed on our first house.  Matt was away at Army Ranger School still so I went through the whole process of contracting, obtaining the loan, making selections and closing on the home by myself.  

A couple weeks later Matt graduated Ranger School and mid September the Army moved us to our new Duty Station in Georgia and into our new home!  A new home means a new Home Study is required.  Unfortunately, we had to wait on the Home Study until we had fenced in our yard and fenced out the massive pond at the back of our 1 acre lot.  Sadly, this meant dipping into our adoption fund in order to be able to put up the fence.  

Obviously we needed to pass the Home Study, so the fence went up.  We finished unpacking our belongings into our new home...and Matt received deployment orders.  He spent the month of February training for deployment at Fort Irwin, California and came home with just enough time for our social worker to perform the home visits and interviews before he left for Afghanistan in March.

The boys and I have been missing Daddy so very much each day.  I am finishing up with the final year of my Bachelor's degree program in Family Life Studies and our sweet, goofy boys are so tired of seeing me with my nose stuck to my textbooks and computer screen.  The good news is that I will finally be graduating in December of this year!!  Wahoo!

So mid-June marked three months of Matt being gone to Afghanistan and a whopping 18 months that we have been on the "waiting list".  We are waiting for a baby girl from Ethiopia between the ages of newborn and 18 months.  We also decided that should a baby girl with HIV come our way, we would love to bring her into our home.  So we are learning all we can now about what it means to care for a family member with HIV.  

I have to admit, I thought that we would have our baby girl by now but the Lord has other plans.  I am learning the meaning of patience as we continue to wait and work for our little girl and trust in the Lord's timeline for our family.  When the time is right we will finally be united with the precious daughter that we belong to.  Keep us in your prayers please, we have been waiting so long and we miss having our beloved Daddy in our home.  

More updates to come soon...    

Vibram Five Fingers

For those who have been hiding under a rock... just kidding

Here is a link for Men's VFF Bikila

http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/products/Five-Fingers-Bikila-Mens.htm

Here is a link for Women's VFF Bikila

http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/products/Five-Fingers-Bikila-Womens.htm

Balance In All Things

I must apologize for my long absence and complete lack of updates over the past 1 1/2 months. My focus has been on supporting my husband in Ranger School, caring for our busy boys, and getting myself and my son ready for school to start. I know the importance of maintaining balance in all areas of my life and I admit, I have done far from that!

We have officially been on the waiting list for almost 2 months now and we have not as of yet heard anything. Our agency case worker, Patty, estimated our wait to receive a referral for a child could be anywhere from 3 to 9 months. While that sounds like a reasonable amount of time, it feels like years to me! We have been working on our adoption since January 2010 so we have already been over 1 1/2 years in the process. That being said, I firmly believe that God will bring us to our precious daughter when the time is right. He guided us to search for her in Ethiopia and now we must wait with faith and patience.

In the mean time, we must endeavor to raise the remaining money we need to fund our adoption to bring our daughter home! Remember, it costs almost $30,000 and we are $12,000 short. Hopefully by now most of our friends and family know, I am running in the Rock 'n' Roll Savannah marathon in November. As uncomfortable as it is for me to do this, I am asking friends and family to pledge a set dollar amount (or cents - whatever you can afford in this fantastic economy) for every mile that I complete of the marathon.

As a little incentive, for every $20 that you pledge and eventually donate when I dominate the Rock 'n' Roll Marathon, I will enter your name into the raffle for a brand new pair of Vibram Five Finger Bikilas! The only question now is... can I pledge money and enter myself to win the shoes?? No? Are you sure?? ... Oh shucks, those are some awesome shoes! Guess you had better make a pledge if you want a shot at them for yourself!

As Time Passes...

Hours melt into days ... days puddle into weeks ... weeks turn into blurry months. Now I have a small glimpse of how my husband must have felt while I was gone for a year on deployment. Has it really been a year that I have been back now? Yet I find myself without my husband again as he conquers school after school of good 'ole Army training. First it was Infantry Basic Officer Leader Course or IBOLC. Now, he drudges through the swamps of Florida in the third and final phase of Ranger School.

He began Ranger School on June 26th and he successfully passed both the Darby Phase and Mountain Phase the first go-around. I am infinitely proud of him as he has endured the unimaginable strain of Ranger training with little to no sleep and the delicious feel of MREs in his stomach. After tearing something in his shoulder during Darby phase he decided to keep it hidden and drive on so that he would not be kicked out. He also had a massive abscess on his arm which he poked with a needle to drain the festering cream-cheesy puss while he was on an Field Training Exercise in the mountains of northern Georgia. I consider myself to be pretty tough as a Non Commissioned Officer in the Army and a certified Modern Army Combatives Instructor, but there is no way I would ever be able to do the things he is doing in Ranger School. I salute you, 1LT Kohler, not because I have to but because you deserve it, you have earned it.

If he continues to do well and be blessed by God in his efforts to pass Swamp Phase the first time he will be graduating on August 26th. Hooah!!

Adoption T-Shirts

For anyone looking for the adoption t-shirts... they are cataloged under the month of May in a post entitled: Fundraiser T-Shirts. I will try and make it easier to find tomorrow, but right now it is midnight and my bed is calling me. Have a great night!

Little Updates

Our dossier has officially arrived to its destination in Ethiopia. It will now undergo the process of translation to Amharic, which my case worker tells me can take up to 3 weeks. This is not a big deal because she does not suspect that we will receive a referral for at least 3 months. I have seen some wait periods of other families from other agencies as long as 13 months! We have been assured that a wait period of that length for our agency would be unusual because they don't have the massive numbers of waiting families that larger agencies do. I sincerely hope and pray that our waiting period will be nowhere near that long as we have already been working on this for 16 1/2 months. For those who are willing, we would love if you would keep our family and our future Ethiopian children in your prayers as we wait to be united with them.

On a bright note, some of the amazing and wonderful women of the Army FRG (Family Readiness Group) for Alpha Co. IBOLC have been so kind and supportive of us and our adoption. They purchased a number of adoption fundraiser shirts today, which more than doubled our t-shirt sales. Thank you, Ladies!!

Men's Shirts and a View of Amharic

This is a picture of the receipt we received from the Embassy of Ethiopia. I just thought it was neat because it has both English and Amharic - the most commonly used language in Ethiopia.

I made this shirt for my brother, Austin.

This shirt belongs to Matt. He preferred the white over the gold spray. The shirts I have access to for men are either white, gray, or black with either white, gold, or blue spray. I realize there isn't a huge demand for men's shirts but I thought I would post these in the event that someone wants one. Just let me know! Thanks again to all those who have shown us support by purchasing one of our adoption t-shirts.

Dossier Arrived - sort of

Well, friends and family, our dossier has arrived to the FedEx location at Addis Ababa, Ethiopia but it says that there is a "delivery exception" with details stating a future delivery date was requested. I have no idea what that means but I am hoping it won't effect the safe arrival of our dossier at its destination. It does say that it has an estimated delivery date of tomorrow by 6pm. I suppose I will just have to wait until tomorrow to see how things turned out.

Dossier on the move

After checking the FedEx website using the provided tracking number, I can see that our dossier is now in Paris, France!! Hopefully it will be arriving in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia in the next few days.

If anyone is wanting adoption t-shirts they are still available. I am making some for Matt, my brother Austin, and my Dad right now so men's versions are available as well. Pictures to come soon. Colors of shirts still available are: navy blue, ocean blue, cruise blue, lime green, yellow, light pink, pink, lotus pink, plum purple (a pinkish purple), and white. These vary across the three styles which are slub (a low scooping neckline), v-neck, and crew neck which has a small pocket on the chest. I know that sounds incredibly complicated, but I buy what is on sale from Aeropostale and then make them up as people order them. That way, I am not stuck with a bunch of shirts that I can't sell. More tedious, but less money to be lost. Anyway, let me know what you want, they are great shirts!

Dossier en route to Ethiopia!!

To our absolute delight, our case worker from Children's House International shipped our dossier to Ethiopia today! She provided us with the FedEx tracking number so that we can follow its progress. For those who are interested, the tracking number is #7971-8975-7096. Now we just need to wait for a referral for a child or children. Our case worker gave us an estimated time table of 3-9 months. Based on what I have seen from reading families blogs working with other agencies, this is actually a pretty good wait time. Some families wait an average of 13 months. I can't believe we started this process in January 2010 and we are finally getting our dossier to Ethiopia. But I must say.... HOOORAYYYY!!!!!!

I finally totaled up our adoption expenses thus far and we hit just over $14,000 with at least $22,800 left to go (if we get a referral for two children). We are still moving forward with adoption t-shirt sales and sewing-craft sales from my Etsy site: www.myladybyrd.etsy.com. So far (thanks to friends and family) we have raised $188. I know that may not look like a lot, but it is better than zero!! That is enough to cover the medical visits for two children required for them to obtain visas. Thank you!!

All of our adoption fundraising money goes into our Zion's Bank adoption account. That means that all proceeds from t-shirt sales, etsy, and donations are deposited there so that adoption funds do not mix with our normal checking account with USAA.

Notarized Dossier Copies

Notarize Dossier copies...1 1/2 inches thick

Pictured above are the two notarized dossier copies and the one regular copy. I mailed these off today to our agency, Children's House International, along with a $6000 check to cover the rest of the Ehthiopia program fees. Once we receive and accept a child referral, we will pay the $7000 Children's House agency fee (or more if we are referred two children). Our agency worker, Patty, will take these copies and the original that will soon be authenticated by the U.S. Department of State and FedEx all of them to the Embassy of Ethiopia.

I know it is silly that I am always the only one in the picture but Matthew is frequently gone doing training for the Army. Consequently, I typically set the camera to take a timed picture. I have attempted in the past to have my 4-year-old boy, Michael, assist me but thus far we have not acheived too many successful pictures that way.

For those who would still like to purchase one of our adoption t-shirts, they are still available for $20 each plus $4 if shipping is necessary. All you have to do is tell me a size and color and pay by clicking the "Donate" button to the right of this post. The new shirts are similar colors but they have a v-neck or a crew neckline instead of the slub. Pictures to come soon!

Dossier Authentication: Step 3 of 4

Here I am, standing at the FedEx counter paying $68.43 for our original dossier and associated checks and money order to arrive at the Assistant Stork in Virginia by Saturday. I know that sounds crazy. Why would I pay to have it arrive at a business on a Saturday, you ask? Well, I spoke to Steve Morrison who runs the business with his wife and he informed me that if they receive it Saturday they will take it first thing Monday morning to the U.S. Department of State for authentication. He said they usually get it completed and returned the next day. Meaning, our completely authenticated dossier will be on its way to Children's House International by Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest.

Step 4: Children's House International sends the original authenticated dossier along with two notarized copies and one regular copy off to the Embassy of Ethiopia for final authentication and translation. Then we wait. And wait. And probably wait some more.

So....we will be waiting for what is called a "referral". We have to wait for all of the families ahead of us who have the same age and sex specifications for a child to receive a referral first. For example, our specifications are for a baby girl age range newborn to 18 months of age. She can also have a sibling boy or girl up to age 3 1/2. If a child like that enters the orphanage, then we receive a referral for her/them. A lot more happens once we receive and accept a referral but I will wait to get into that part.

As we wait for a referral, we hope to proceed with fundraising so that we can afford to accept a referral for two children. (Remember with two children, it is an additional $8000 - $9000). Total costs for one child range from approximately $29,000 - $32,000. While we have gone into this adoption planned and prepared, we just don't have that much money laying around. Also, as I noted in a previous post, the costs have risen since we started in January of 2010.

Keep a watch out, I will be doing more posts on our progress as well as some interesting posts about Ethiopia and its people.

Matt Graduated IBOLC!!

More great news...Yesterday Matthew, or should I say, Second Lieutenant Kohler graduated from the 16 week Infantry Basic Officer's Leader Course. Congratulations, honey, I am so proud of you! The course was very strenuous and required 10 of those 16 weeks to be spent in the field, ie. mud, rain, poison ivy, sweat, filthiness, etc. Guess who did the laundry resulting from all that field time - that's right, me. But I digress, the point is that Matt is incredible and he looks so handsome in his dress blue uniform.

Now he will be preparing for Ranger School which he will commence on June 26th.

Document Authenticated Step 2 - Done!

Wahoo!!! We received the Affidavit of Dossier and Power of Attorney back in the mail today!! They have officially been authenticated by the office of the Georgia Secretary of State. It was definitely worth the cost of having them shipped FedEx next day.

NOW...for Document Authentication Step 3 of the 4 steps. I need to take all of the dossier documents (about 35), make three copies, have each page of two of the sets notarized (about 70 pages), and send them off in two different directions. One original dossier (I have two originals) will be sent to the Assistant Stork in Virgina who will take them to the U.S. Secretary of State to be Authenticated for a nominal fee of $80 plus the U.S. fee of $16. Not bad, not bad at all. Two notarized copies of the dossier and one normal copy are also mailed to our international adoption agency who holds them until they receive the authenticated dossier back from the Assistant Stork.

Step 4...The final step!! Once all of the documents are received by Children's House International, they ship it off to the Embassy of Ethiopia with our $189.60 money order to be authenticed by them. Then we play the waiting game until we receive a referral for children matching our profile. Oh what a happy day that will be! We are getting so close now it is starting to feel real again. We started this process in January 2010 and at times it has felt as if we would never see the end of the tunnel. At last, we see a glimmer of light!